Airplane Etiquette

As A Hot Cup has traveled a bit in the past week or so, it seems like an excellent time for a primer on airplane etiquette. This can apply to the airport as well, with a focus on the actual flight. Important phrases tend to be in all-caps for emphasis. Let's begin:

• When you're getting up from your seat, DO NOT grab the seat in front of yours. No person deserves to be woken up from their nap or have their head dislodged from the rest of their body because you can't get up without help. There are very few exceptions to this rule, but unless your legs do not work, you should not have to grab the seat in front of you to get up. Period.
• Speaking of getting up, GET UP when someone in the middle or window seat is trying to get out of the row to use the restroom. Yes, as an aisle-seat dweller himself, A Hot Cup knows it's difficult when Small Bladder next to him has to use the restroom four times in a three hour trip. But A Hot Cup will interrupt his movie/iPod experience/deep meditation to allow the person to get out without having to needlessly climb over some legs. Pathetic that people can't get up for ten seconds.
• Don't lean all the way back in your seat. It's cramped enough, don't make it worse. A little lean is fine, but if you're getting to "Lean Wit It, Rock With It" levels, that's too much.
• Please keep your children quiet. They're allowed to speak, but excessive crying is ANNOYING. Especially on late night or longer flights when we're all trying to get some shuteye. Figure out a method to not have them cry, or don't fly. We'd hate to restrict your traveling, but that's sort of the path you chose when you decided to conceive in the first place.
• This goes for back in the airport, but please do not make small talk while in the security lines. Far too often there will be one person jabbering away to the person behind them, which means that first person is no longer looking ahead of them. And then there's a huge gap while everyone else is waiting to move on with their lives. You can talk the entire wait at your gate or on the flight, but don't do it while other people are waiting on you.
• Why is it so difficult for people to fit bags in the overhead storage compartment? It shouldn't be difficult to pack things and make them securely stay, but it's such an effort that it boggles the mind. There's really no suggestion here, other than to pack less.
• Keep your windows open when we take off and land, and keep 'em closed otherwise. It's about a 92% certainty this is a rule anyway, but rarely does it seem to be enforced. As much as you may like to stare at clouds on the outside, the light has a way of diffusing right into everyone else's eyes, which is no fun.

By following these simple rules, everyone can have a great flight. Like Virgin Airlines promotes, "We're all in this together."